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Appreciating Uniqueness By Emily Wolf

Mon, 12 Sep 2022 17:23:13 GMT

Appreciating Uniqueness By Emily Wolf

I wish I would have heard more times in my life, “Be yourself, we are all different and that is what makes the world go around.” Instead, I heard the opposite. I was shy and kind but lacked confidence. I wasn’t strange, I was me. Now, as an adult I realize there is beauty in owning who you are, quirks included.

I have been a stay-at-home mom for almost fourteen years now. I was born and raised in South Louisiana and live in Lafayette with my best friend and husband of fifteen years, Matt. Our son, Seth, is our only child and has been a true teacher in our lives, he is our greatest gift. He has autism and a congenital muscular myopathy, RYR1. He has daily triumphs and struggles. He is and has always been authentically himself.

Seth loves cars, and cleaning them, R/C’s, animals and riding horses. He has patriotism deep in his bones and anyone who knows him knows that he doesn’t leave the house without his stars and stripes cape on. He loves puppets and I watch him make others laugh with his puppets and their personalities. He makes zero apologies for who he is, I love that about him.

I have always tried to remind Seth that God does not make mistakes and he should be proud of who he is. I am thankful that Seth doesn’t lack confidence. The one thing I still struggle to attain, he holds firm to. Seth inspired a story, and we wrote a children’s book together about loving yourself.

It can be hard in those dark moments of special needs parenting to appreciate things about our children when they are struggling so much, just me? Life can be overwhelming day to day. Fighting to meet goals or lying awake at night wondering what the future holds. Days of meltdowns, plans constantly derailed, sensory aversions, the list goes on, I’m sure you can relate.

Yet, if we take a breath, we see that our sweet babies have endless gifts. Their gifts may be loud or subtle, extraordinary talents or maybe just their confidence shining a light into the world. Our kids are beautiful, and I hope they can always appreciate what makes them unique and we can always cheer them on to celebrate themselves. They teach us without even realizing it, we learn by their example.

Seth having fun with his RC plane, one of his favorite hobbies.

All these years later, I now find it easier to celebrate what makes me unique, because we celebrate Seth’s uniqueness. I find myself having more compassion with others, because Seth has shown me that we never know what other people may be facing and extending kindness is always best.

This one amazing life that we have been given, is meant to be lived to the full, celebrating and appreciating our authentic selves.

Seth about to go ride, his smile says it all!

I often hear a quote that says something like, “you aren’t a tree, if you don’t like where you are in life then move.” Well, as special needs mothers, choices like that aren’t up to us. We can’t walk away from difficulties; we must flourish where we are. We must bloom where we have been planted. There are seeds of beauty within the souls of our sweet children. There is much to celebrate within our messy, amazing lives.

Look at your child today, notice everything that makes them who they are and savor it. Joy is in the gratitude, freedom to celebrate is found within acceptance. I try to focus on the good, and each time I see my sweet Seth’s cape blowing in the wind, I smile. My heart says, “You go Seth, you keep shining bright my little sunshine. Thank you for teaching me that uniqueness makes this world beautiful, we aren’t here to blend in.”

Our book, “A Different kind of Sea Star,” a story to inspire others to celebrate their uniqueness.

Be Good to Yourself by Cherelle Williams

Thu, 01 Sep 2022 18:19:10 GMT

Be Good to Yourself by Cherelle Williams

Hello. My name is Cherelle Williams. I am from Lafayette La. I am the mother of 3 handsome boys, 2 of which have Autism. I have learned a lot on the journey of being a special needs mom. One of those things is a very important one for me and its self care. As we enter 2022 I really wanted to share my experiences to help other moms embrace the normalcy of taking care themselves.

“Caring for your body, mind, and spirit is your greatest and grandest responsibility. It’s about listening to the needs of your soul and then honoring them.”-Kristi Ling. When I read this quote, it really spoke to me because it took me years to realize the importance of self care as a parent.

As moms, we tend to feel guilty about taking care of ourselves and as a special needs mom that guilt can be elevated. Personally, I felt like every time I expressed that, I needed a break I was somehow letting my kids down. I would always avoid asking for help and I would continue to pile tasks on my plate.

I worked over 60 hours a week while balancing my sons’ therapy sessions, doctors appointments, homework and so on.I also found myself taking on tasks from others even though I barely had the time and energy to handle the things in my life. I always felt bad when I said No to others. Doing all these things only left me tired, stressed, and emotionally drained and I found that I wasn’t the best I could be for my boys. I wasn’t fully present due to exhaustion and I realized after a stress induced panic attack one day that I had to do better for myself and my boys.

After a long evaluation I decided to start receiving help from others when needed. I started listening to my body when it told me to stop and rest. Also I learned the power of the word “No” I learned that by doing this I was not being selfish but I was actually being self aware. As a mom, especially a special needs mom, it’s important to make sure that you are aligned so that you can be what you need to be for your family.

Every family dynamic is different and sometimes you might need a break but you might not have an outlet. Don’t fret! There are many groups and organizations locally where you can form bonds, trade information, and relinquish stresses by talking and confiding in one another. As you release more and learn more, life becomes just a little easier. To sum it all up, I’ll just say be good to yourself so you can you can be good to others.

Cherelle Williams

D.R.E.A.M.S Moms Blog by Sylnita Livas-Bougere

Wed, 31 Aug 2022 16:26:57 GMT

D.R.E.A.M.S. Moms Blog Written by Sylnita Livas-Bougere

Greetings my friends. My name is Sylnita Livas-Bougere and I am formerly an educator, currently a graduate student, a special-needs advocate, and a published author. I recently published a children’s book titled My Friend Rain, which explains autism to young children. I am also the proud single mother of an amazing little boy named Rain. Rain, who is a non-verbal 10-year-old, was diagnosed with autism when he was three years old. Rain and I are natives of Thibodaux, Louisiana, but recently relocated to the Lafayette area as a result of Hurricane Ida. Our experiences with the special needs community here have been welcoming and amazing.

As most mothers of autistic children know, change of any sort can be challenging. Sudden changes are even more difficult. It was through sudden change that we arrived in Lafayette. When Hurricane Ida raged through our home town and ravaged neighboring areas on August 29th, we were forced to make some difficult decisions quickly. Our home was damaged and Rain’s ABA clinic was beyond salvageable. Forced to evacuate our home and being without power and wi-fi (which most autism moms know is as essential as water), I was concerned about Rain’s reaction.

In a two-week period, we changed locations five times. We traveled from Memphis, Tennessee, to Thibodaux, then New Iberia, Patterson, and finally Lafayette. We experienced behavioral changes such as elopement, appetite changes, and mood swings. Rain also experienced a series of asthma attacks as well. To say that those times were difficult would be an understatement. An epiphany occurred at that time. I realized that while this was a stressful and trying situation, my son and I have seen our share of struggles as a result of his autism. We always survive and we will in this case too.

The most important thing that I have learned as a special needs mom, most importantly a single special needs mother, is that I am my best asset. Although we are often hardest on ourselves, we are doing a great job. It is easy when our children are exhibiting behaviors that we do not understand, to get frustrated. On those days when we are sleep-deprived and seem to be alone in this fight against autism we tend to bend like a tree in a windstorm. During those times when we get the “stares” when we are experiencing meltdowns out in public and want to give up and go home, we must push through. When our children’s teachers don’t seem to understand them and the IEP meetings seem pointless and unsuccessful, we must persevere and remember that we are our best asset. As mothers we must withstand the literal and figurative storms that may bend us. We can bend, but we must not break.

If I learned anything during our evacuation and relocation during Hurricane Ida, it was that resilience and determination are the best qualities that special needs moms can possess. My son and I would not have survived the ordeal of Hurricane Ida without those qualities. My strength came when I realized that I may continue to get knocked down, but for my son, I must continue to get up. I am a special needs mom and I AM MY BEST ASSET.

Never Say Never by Jada Babcock

Tue, 03 May 2022 15:58:26 GMT

Never Say Never Written by Jada Babcock

Early on in our journey, our son, Coleman, received a rare Chromosome 13q deletion diagnosis. So rare that there wasn’t very much information on his prognosis or developmental outlook. Medical journals only depicted worse case scenarios. Medical professionals only communicated what would never happen. No one could tell us exactly who Coleman would become or what he would be able to do. His abilities and milestones wouldn’t change how much we loved him, but I felt that if I could just know what the future would look like, I could prepare my mind and heart for any difficulties he would face.

Coleman gets a base hit while playing with the Lafayette Little League Challenger Division

As Coleman grew, so did his delay in meeting milestones. All of our friends’ kids who were the same age seemed to meet these important stages with ease while our boy took his sweet time. Knowing better and instantly regretting it, I would always compare him to his peers. That ultimately would break my bruised and battered heart and extinguish any bit of hope I had of him living a “normal” life.

Because of society’s definition of normal and its treatment of those that stand on the sidelines, I equated a normal life with an easier life and who wouldn’t want life to be a little easier for their child. As I mentioned earlier, we love Coleman just as he is and wouldn’t change him for anything in the world. It was just the fear of the unknown. It was the grief of life not looking like we had originally planned.

Then something amazing happened! I realized that the world’s standards aren’t one-size-fits-all and don’t dictate a person’s worth or quality of life. With this revelation, I amended my expectations: the expectations of myself as a mom and of Coleman. They weren’t lowered or lessened in any shape or form because high expectations can promote high achievement but they were different now. Instead of trying to meet the goals everyone else thought Coleman should meet in their timeline, we gave Coleman the lead to move at his own pace and on his own path.

Coleman participates in therapeutic horseback riding through Acadiana Therapeutic Riding Organization. Pictured is Coleman and Zip.

In typical Coleman fashion, he has continued to do amazing things and surprise us each and every day. The child we were told would never walk due to low tone, now runs EVERYWHERE. The child we were told would never talk, communicates using American Sign Language and a few spoken words. The child we were told would never…continues to do. But even if he doesn’t, he is still loved beyond measure and a remarkable, irreplaceable contribution to our family, community, and world.

Coleman has taught me to love without condition, appreciate the little things in life, and to literally stop and smell the roses (even the ones in the Lowe’s Garden Center, which are his favorite). I’m so thankful that I get the opportunity to be Coleman’s mother, and I can’t wait to see what else he teaches me in the future.

Never say never and remember there is always something worth celebrating!

Author Bio

Jada Babcock lives in Breaux Bridge with her husband, Mike, and 9-year-old son, Coleman. She works as a Parent Guide with the Louisiana Guide By Your Side Program, which provides parent-to-parent support for families with deaf or hard-of-hearing children. She is also the author of An Exceptional Life: A Story of Faith, Missing Chromosomes, & Unconditional Love.